grodus: true friendship is being comfortable enough to openly discuss pornography with each other
jebiwonkenobi: When I was little I thought being an adult meant not having a bed time but I’ve come to realize that it just means being in charge of my own bed time and it turns out that I am not equipped to handle that responsibility.
thinsiqnificant: spongebob’s thigh gap is dope as fuck
sodamnrelatable: when you press backspace a few times in hopes of deleting text and then tHE BROWSER GOES BACK LIKE 5 PAGES
1o14: i want world peace but there are people i want to kill first
sodamnrelatable: How normal people wake up: How I wake up:
I hate my friends
iwillmindfuckyou: lunaticphan: So my driving instructor texted me, and I was walking so I just typed ‘Ok’ and hit send and then I looked at it and was like WHAT But as it turns out, my friends are entirely responsible for turning ‘Ok’ into a shortcut. Cry your friends are keepers
nevvzealand: i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around
ohabutt: in middle school my friend used to give me these huge lemons to eat because they were delicious and one time i was eating one and some idiot told me he’d give me ten bucks to take a huge bite and another kid added five so i got 15 american dollar for doing what i was already doing truly this is the land of opportunity
browneyedreams: connuh: dootzy: this video will make your day better Oh my god I will never get tired of watching this.
pelluit: hate it when you sit down and your legs flatten out to approximately the size of australia
hipsterinatardis: Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.
psychoticpingouins: 48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.
thebagofholding: “man i am so tired” stays up for 3 more hours doing absolutely nothing
jewelstaites: how to give a good handjob bop it pull it twist it
aduhm: closing a 3-ring binder clasp on your finger
mareeps: remember back in like 5th grade when everyone vowed they would never do drugs
thebatteur: once in kindergarten a girl asked me to write “super girl” on her arm since i was the only kid who could write so i wrote “shit” on her arm and i hid under the table for like 30 minutes then the teacher found me and yelled at me then called my parents and my dad laughed so hard he cried
zackisontumblr: i have 3 moods: skips every song on my ipod lets the music play without interruption plays the same song on repeat for days
equisollux: zombiecthulu: basedkuroko: my friend is hiding under this bean bag in the library so he doesnt have to go to PE the only way you can see him is if you get on the floor behind the bean bag and see the light of his phone I bet he’s on Tumblr I am
egberts: teachers who call on students who obviously don’t know the answer are the biggest dicks in the world because they’re flat out humiliating the kid in front of all their peers
analmermaidprincess: analmermaidprincess: What a beautiful afternoon to sit in my yard and drink a milkshake The boys… They have arrived….
When your parents ask you to do the dishes
justinibiebers: stuff you ask your mom: mom where’s my towel mom what do we eat for dinner mom what time is it mom where’s my phone mom when do you come back mom what day is it stuff you ask your dad dad where is mom
thorin-my-king: getoutoftherecat: the-companions-doctor: sharlina6: Fact of the Day: Cats have unattached collarbones, which means that they can fit through any aperture large enough to accommodate their heads. whenever someone judges me for wanting to be a cat I’ll just direct them to this how do you cat why can’t i cat
gallifreyan-wings: balderrask: westbor0baptistchurch: “But if you forget to reblog Madame Zeroni, you and your family will be cursed for always and eternity.” NOPE NOT RISKING IT SORRY GUYS JUST LOOK AT HER NOPE
svveetlemonade: me doing math homework
rneerkat: “youre always on your computer” well ur always on my nerves
fuckerpunch: i never realize how much i swear until i’m in a situation where i can’t
dracosferret: [FIRE CANNOT KILL A DRAGON] i shout as my shower decides to burn hotter than the surface of the sun.
pokemonyewest: Hate gets you nowhere You gotta be positive