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We all have stories we'll never tell



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nevvzealand:

i dont understand how i can get so much joy from covering my pets with blankets and watching the lump move around




ohabutt:

in  middle school my friend used to give me these huge lemons to eat because they were delicious and one time i was eating one and some idiot told me he’d give me ten bucks to take a huge bite and another kid added five so i got 15 american dollar for doing what i was already doing truly this is  the land of opportunity






browneyedreams:

connuh:

dootzy:

this video will make your day better

Oh my god

I will never get tired of watching this.





pelluit:

hate it when you sit down and your legs flatten out to approximately the size of australia




hipsterinatardis:

Naps are tricky because you either wake up refreshed and relaxed or you have a headache, dry throat, and are unaware of what year you’re in.




psychoticpingouins:

48 years ago a girl said “oh fuck me” to her best friend while walking in the street, a guy who randomly passed by answered by “let me at least buy you dinner first”. I present to you my grandparents, in love since then and celebrating their 47 years of marriage today.






letyaahairdown:

Literally me all day today


thebagofholding:

“man i am so tired” stays up for 3 more hours doing absolutely nothing




jewelstaites:

how to give a good handjob

  • bop it
  • pull it
  • twist it